You're in a cabin trying to get back to sleep alone in your room at 2am with nothing but woods and pitch blackness outside and since its summer you have your window open and all of the sudden out from the woods you hear a faint ^^^hee ^^^^hee and you

President Trump rally transcript generated from a bot after having it read over 1000 hours of Trump rally transcripts.

**TRUMP RALLY** ​ INT. BIG ARBY'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA ​ PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium. ​ **PRESIDENT TRUMP** I just had a phone call with the economy. Jobs poured out of the phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Stev

Am I the asshole?

I (35M) was performing a surgery on this little girl (10F) me and the rest of the surgeons were operating on her all night long. She ruptured nearly every organ in an awful car accident with another man (300F) and was on the brink of death. We were d

Dum dum want cum cum 🗿

"You, dum dum. Give me, cum cum" I stare lustfully at the talking Moai head. I whip out my penis and he starts sucking hard. My eyes roll back and I let out a moan that grows louder each second, his rocky lips caressing my member, until finally I gi

I cannot love a shitter

I will never be with a female who defecates. The whole reason my last girlfriend and I split was because I found out she did, in fact, poop. For months I had suspected something suspicious. Every time we had ethnic cuisine, she would act very odd, e

Fucking welfare hoarders

I'm sick of seeing people in line at Walmart pull out their EBT cards (with their hair all done, wearing diamond jewelry) to pay for their 6 grocery carts full of steak and lobster, and then hop into their Lamborghinis with the suicide doors I SEE TH

I got grounded because I started dating (from r/teenagers)

I have been interested in this one girl for 5 years now. She lives next door, my mom knows her parents, not well tho So 2 weeks ago I was alone at home and she was chilling outside. I went over and asked if she wanted to hang around with me. She agr

The state of reddit humor

Oof boingz zoinks creepers aww man with a pickle rickle on a popsicle holy shitballs Batman lets unpackerino this yikeserino and uuhhohh that isn’t nice 69 haha so funny who hurt you inkwell maybe try showering?. Oh sweet summer child that isn’t very

Every species of animal and what their semen tastes like

Let's just jump into this. ​ For starters: Each animal I have probably tasted around 10-20 times to verify the taste. ​ Human - You probably know this one. Salty but can be very sweet when eating pineapples. ​ Apes - Sligh

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Ben Shapiro so goddamn bad.

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Ben Shapiro so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Turning Point USA I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constan